Share your kindness stories for Sydney public art project!

Only three more days to get Sydney's random acts of kindness stories in to UK artist, Michael Landy for his upcoming public art project. If you've witnessed, experienced or taken part in spreading kindness anywhere in Sydney you can contribute your story at Kaldor Public Arts Projects. They don't have to be epic tales of messianic proportions, a few simple sentences of a connection through kindness, compassion or generosity is more than enough. The project will be exhibited throughout the CBD during Sydney's public art festival, Art and About. Submissions close this Saturday the 20th of August. If you don't have a story to share then get out there and make one happen!

Here's my contribution:

Last week while on a bus into the city I witnessed a very elderly lady who was struggling to walk board at Central Station. As you would hope, a young school boy toward the front of the bus quickly jumped up to offer his seat. However, not only did he assist in guiding her to his seat as the bus driver sped off but a few stops later, seeing her press the button he assertively stepped forward and offered his hand again. He helped her all the way down onto the footpath of Martin Place before re-boarding the bus and settling back in his seat. I watched the lady who had looked so tired and flat only a few stops before wander into the city with a beaming smile painted across her face and I wanted to applaud.

Click here to submit your story

Living the good life

 

Introducing my new essential items for "living the GOOD life"! 

I'm pleased to announce the nasty, disposable drink bottle(s) littering my handbag, car and eventually the PLANET have now been replaced with one shiny, new, stainless steel bottle which is not only environmentally friendly but also looks better, makes my water taste better (more like water, less like plastic) and is overall a healthier choice. The second item which has been getting a daily work out is my super practical (oh I am getting old aren't I?!) environmentally friendly, fabric bag which zips up inside itself so I now always have one at the ready in my handbag. I'm generally good at refusing (see The REFUSE Pledge) plastic bags, especially when making small purchases, but my spontaneous grocery shops were becoming a plastic bag party because I never had my bulky, fabric bags with me when I needed them. However, I'm happy to report that since purchasing my fabric zip bag I have politely refused every plastic bag offered to me this week.

And last but definitely not least are the beautiful "Kindness Cards" that arrived in the mail from Wake Up Sydney this week. The idea being that when you perform an act of kindness you pass the card on and ask that person to continue the kindess:

"Do something kind and leave this card behind to keep the ripple going."

The rewards of connecting through kindness

CONNECTION leads to INSPIRATION leads to MOTIVATION leads to ACTION.

Inspired by online movements for "random acts of kindness" I today joined a "smile group" at Help Others.org. Membership to the group entitles me to read and post stories of kindness within the "Australian Smile Group", as well as give and receive 'smiles' and 'karma bucks'.  Whilst it may not seem like much I think it's a great way to connect, stay motivated and turn intention into action.

I was really surprised with the positive feedback (comments, smiles and karma bucks) I received in response to my "kindness story" which was simply "making an effort to smile and say good morning to everybody I passed whilst walking my dog today". Not only was it gratifying to be praised for my small act of kindness but it was also extremely motivating, both to continue my own acts of kindness, as well as to praise others for theirs.

Connecting with others is a huge part of our humanity and whatever the motivations (eg. psychological egoism) I think the outcomes are largely positive. When we connect through kindness we all win.

What moves us: motivation for good

Nine years ago, an 18 year old version of myself was driving to work in my beastly, red, Ford Telstar when much to my horror the engine overheated and my not so trust worthy car died a smoky death on the middle of a bridge in bumper-to-bumper, peak hour traffic. My first reaction was to lock the doors of my corpse of a car and bawl my eyes out but my common sense prevailed and instead I got out began trying to push and steer the car over the bridge while numerous, disgruntled drivers manoeuvred around me. Whilst I'm sure the lifetime of pushing I felt I undertook was probably more like a couple of minutes in reality it was no doubt magnified by the large amount of cars which overtook me and just kept on going. By the time somebody finally came to my aid I had almost given up on anybody helping me and the generous soul who offered me the kindness of getting me and my beast off that bridge was met with a complete breakdown on my part. I could barely get the words "thank you" out through the flood of tears that ensued his kind offer to push while I steered. He was a middle aged man, also on his way to work and not only did he get me off that bridge but also offered to help me call a tow truck and following making those arrangements and waiting with me, drove me the rest of the way to work (which was a massive detour from his destination).

This particular story came to mind this morning while I was pondering the question "what motivates us to be good?". Why did that man stop and help me when so many others drove right on by? Moral philosophy (see previous post: Foundations for the "greater good": moral philosophy) attempts to answer this question in exploring the psychological issues within metaethics which motivate us to be moral. Within this area of metaethics they explore both psychological egoism and psychological altruism as drivers for our moral actions (or inaction as the case may be). According to psychological egoism, the man that stopped to help me did so because it served his own self-interest (eg. seeking the praise of onlookers, gratitude from said damsel in distress or the self satisfaction of knowing he did a good deed). However, psychological altruism asserts that whilst factors of egoism may provide some motivation, that we as humans also have an inherent psychological capacity to show compassion and kindness to others. In my saviour's case I would tend to lead towards altruism but unfortunately I was too traumatised by the whole event to ask that question at that time or even exchange details so I guess I will never really know.

What I do know is that not everybody that passed me that day was motivated to help. Whether it's egoism or altruism that moves us morally to perform an act of kindness there are still those that do not seem to be moved at all. Whilst these musings interest me immensely, personally I don't think it matters what a person's motivation is for helping another, as long as they're helping what's the difference? I know my personal motivations vary and whilst I would love to advocate being a pure altruist, the truth is that helping also makes me happy, undoubtedly providing added incentive! And what's wrong with that? When I "feel good" I'm more motivated to "do good" and in a way I think it can act as a beautiful circle, happy people are more helpful people and helpful people are more happy people. For proof see "Making Australia Happy" an amazing documentary and social experiment into the art of happiness. Of particular interest is Dr Tony Grant's "positive psychology" exercises, employing strategies of kindness to increase happiness levels.

"Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others." - Plato

A lesson in kindness

"It's a spark of energy that you're transferring from yourself to another"- 'high five girl' (on kindness). 

Through the maze of madness that is social media (Twitter - Website - YouTube) I came across this short clip, Kindness 101, through the Random Acts of Kindness (RAK) Foundation. My first response to the clip was the 'high five girl' is a complete loon but who am I to judge? Everybody has their own kindness style. High fives obviously work for her and I must admit, it's actually pretty impressive, I definitely cracked a smile more than once. I love that with each high five given there was an almost automatic smile reaction from the recipient. Mission accomplished! However, I think I'll stick to my baby steps; eye contact and smiles, just for now...

Random Acts of Kindness: Keep it simple

The one reoccurring issue I've come across when exploring the social conscience, both mine and that of others is that we all have a desire to help but we become so overwhelmed with the problems of the world that we don't know where to start. Do I help homeless people in Australia or starving people in Africa? Do I save the whales or save the rainforests? Do I donate money or time? And what if I don't have enough of either to make a difference? Of course all or any of these are good but it's okay to take baby steps too. As Chris Abani muses in the video from my last post:

"The world is never saved in grand messianic gestures but in the simple accumulation of gentle, soft, almost invisible acts of compassion, everyday acts of compassion". 

For me this translates into a phrase that I know many people are familiar with: 'random acts of kindness'. No matter your circumstances, employed, unemployed, rich, poor, young or old, we all have the capacity to participate in random acts of kindness every day.  Many people already do this subconsciously but imagine if we all started making a conscious effort to do something selfless on a daily basis to improve the circumstances of another person, animal or the environment.

The beauty of it is it can be as simple as a smile. How many people do you pass on the street everyday? How many do you make eye contact with and smile at? This is a simple act of kindness that we could all practice a hundred times a day: connect with people on the street (in the shopping centre, on the beach, at the gym, in the ocean, on the train) and acknowledge our shared humanity by making eye contact and smiling.

Now I must admit, as "simple" as this gesture seems, it doesn't always come easily. For someone like me who is inherently a little shy, the act of making eye contact and smiling at a stranger can be somewhat daunting and definitely takes a conscious effort to manufacture. But I figure what have I got to lose? What is the worst that could happen? Somebody could tell me to "Piss off, keep walking!" (as the local homeless man often says to a friend of mine)? I think I'm going to take my chances, I'm going to put myself out on the proverbial 'limb' in the hope that it just might brighten someone elses day.

"We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” - Aristotle

I want to excel in random acts of kindness and this is my commitment to myself and anybody reading. I'm going to endeavour (step by step) to integrate random acts of kindness into my day to day life with the hope of one day reaching a point where it becomes so deeply ingrained in my being that I don't even think about it anymore. I know I am joining a kindness community of many and I hope that many more will continue to join. If we all start taking baby steps each and every day we could leave one massive footprint of kindness on the planet.

Rachel
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