Why being kind is a kindness to yourself

My beautiful mum shared this information with me and I thought it was too good not to pass on:

"Research has shown that a simple act of kindness directed toward another improves the functioning of the immune system and stimulates the production of serotonin in both the recipient of the kindness and the person extending the kindness. Kindness extended, received, or observed beneficially impacts the physical health and feelings of everyone involved." - Dr Wayne Dyer

And just in case that's not motivation enough, a friend (with a Masters Degree in Psychology) then added that during her studies she read of an experiment that showed that the levels of seratonin in the person giving was actually higher than the one receiving. Giddy up! 

Seek and You Shall Find

Every day provides an opportunity for a new discovery and today I feel as if I have stumbled on a goldmine! I was browsing the web looking for a little inspiration when I remembered a friend telling me about an amazing social consciousness/kindness event called "Wake Up Sydney" which was held in Town Hall last year. I was only really hoping to find out if they were holding another one this year (which they are - numerous actually!) but in doing so, discovered not only a bounty of inspiring events I can attend, but even more exciting, an amazing community of creative Sydney-based individuals who are dedicated to inspiring a "kindness revolution through art, beauty and wisdom" and wait for it... have a vision to make Sydney the 'kindness capital of the world! Sounds like my kind of people!

And just when I thought it couldn't get any better the Wake Up Sydney website offered me a free gift of 'kindness cards' which I am very happy to report will shortly be arriving in my mailbox so I can unleash my kindness on more unsuspecting Sydneysiders and hopefully contribute to the Pay It Forward movement.

I look forward to sharing some of my Wake Up Sydney experiences with you soon!

Confessions of a Conscience

Today's post is on little more of a personal note than usual, a long overdue self-critique of the conscience if you will, which I am afraid to say falls somewhat short of my own expectations. It's been a little quiet on the blogging front over the past week. You know how it is; work, assignments, a little cold and flu and before I knew it I was feeling completely drained with nothing left to give. I know this isn't unusual, most of us lead extremely busy lives and at the end of the week you want to keep what little time and energy leftover you have for yourself.

I got up this morning and all I wanted to do was draw the curtains, put on a dvd and spend the day vegetating on the couch but much to my dismay, not long after I picked up the remote, the little voice in the back of my head started: "Really? You have a whole day at your disposal, you don't feel sick anymore, there are no assignment deadlines hanging over your head or pressing engagements and you're just going to sit here and do absolutely nothing?!". I then started thinking about this blog and wondering why I wasn't feeling more motivated to make up for lost time when all week I'd been wishing for this exact opportunity to devote myself to the cause which I usually feel so passionately about. Then it hit me, I was avoiding it. But not due to a lack of interest or passion. I was only avoiding the blog because I wanted to avoid myself.

With each post I publish (whether it is always evident or not) I examine my own social conscience and this week that means examining the lack of it. That is not to say of course that this week I have conducted myself with absolutely no consideration of the world around me. I have smiled at strangers, I have stopped to let people in during peak hour traffic, I have taken my family Easter gifts, I have stood up on the bus to let others sit down, I have recycled. However, none of these things were very out of the ordinary, they took no real extra effort and considering the purpose of this endeavour is to step outside my comfort zone and really push my social conscience to a higher level, I feel as if this week I have failed. But...

"There is no failure except in no longer trying." - Elbert Hubbard

So this is my confession: this week I have not done all that I can and I have not been the best that I can be. I am not perfect, but that is okay. To move forward I think it is important to let go of the guilt (which I never find a very productive emotion) and get up and start again. So I am clearing my conscience right here and right now and starting fresh.  I think sometimes we all get a little weighed down with feelings of inadequacy and there's no time like the present to acknowledge it, shake it off and make a change. I am so grateful that I have a new minute, a new hour, a new day and a new week to try again.

The rewards of connecting through kindness

CONNECTION leads to INSPIRATION leads to MOTIVATION leads to ACTION.

Inspired by online movements for "random acts of kindness" I today joined a "smile group" at Help Others.org. Membership to the group entitles me to read and post stories of kindness within the "Australian Smile Group", as well as give and receive 'smiles' and 'karma bucks'.  Whilst it may not seem like much I think it's a great way to connect, stay motivated and turn intention into action.

I was really surprised with the positive feedback (comments, smiles and karma bucks) I received in response to my "kindness story" which was simply "making an effort to smile and say good morning to everybody I passed whilst walking my dog today". Not only was it gratifying to be praised for my small act of kindness but it was also extremely motivating, both to continue my own acts of kindness, as well as to praise others for theirs.

Connecting with others is a huge part of our humanity and whatever the motivations (eg. psychological egoism) I think the outcomes are largely positive. When we connect through kindness we all win.

What moves us: motivation for good

Nine years ago, an 18 year old version of myself was driving to work in my beastly, red, Ford Telstar when much to my horror the engine overheated and my not so trust worthy car died a smoky death on the middle of a bridge in bumper-to-bumper, peak hour traffic. My first reaction was to lock the doors of my corpse of a car and bawl my eyes out but my common sense prevailed and instead I got out began trying to push and steer the car over the bridge while numerous, disgruntled drivers manoeuvred around me. Whilst I'm sure the lifetime of pushing I felt I undertook was probably more like a couple of minutes in reality it was no doubt magnified by the large amount of cars which overtook me and just kept on going. By the time somebody finally came to my aid I had almost given up on anybody helping me and the generous soul who offered me the kindness of getting me and my beast off that bridge was met with a complete breakdown on my part. I could barely get the words "thank you" out through the flood of tears that ensued his kind offer to push while I steered. He was a middle aged man, also on his way to work and not only did he get me off that bridge but also offered to help me call a tow truck and following making those arrangements and waiting with me, drove me the rest of the way to work (which was a massive detour from his destination).

This particular story came to mind this morning while I was pondering the question "what motivates us to be good?". Why did that man stop and help me when so many others drove right on by? Moral philosophy (see previous post: Foundations for the "greater good": moral philosophy) attempts to answer this question in exploring the psychological issues within metaethics which motivate us to be moral. Within this area of metaethics they explore both psychological egoism and psychological altruism as drivers for our moral actions (or inaction as the case may be). According to psychological egoism, the man that stopped to help me did so because it served his own self-interest (eg. seeking the praise of onlookers, gratitude from said damsel in distress or the self satisfaction of knowing he did a good deed). However, psychological altruism asserts that whilst factors of egoism may provide some motivation, that we as humans also have an inherent psychological capacity to show compassion and kindness to others. In my saviour's case I would tend to lead towards altruism but unfortunately I was too traumatised by the whole event to ask that question at that time or even exchange details so I guess I will never really know.

What I do know is that not everybody that passed me that day was motivated to help. Whether it's egoism or altruism that moves us morally to perform an act of kindness there are still those that do not seem to be moved at all. Whilst these musings interest me immensely, personally I don't think it matters what a person's motivation is for helping another, as long as they're helping what's the difference? I know my personal motivations vary and whilst I would love to advocate being a pure altruist, the truth is that helping also makes me happy, undoubtedly providing added incentive! And what's wrong with that? When I "feel good" I'm more motivated to "do good" and in a way I think it can act as a beautiful circle, happy people are more helpful people and helpful people are more happy people. For proof see "Making Australia Happy" an amazing documentary and social experiment into the art of happiness. Of particular interest is Dr Tony Grant's "positive psychology" exercises, employing strategies of kindness to increase happiness levels.

"Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others." - Plato